Incredibly Bad Resumes That Will Make You Shudder-092016

Incredibly Bad Resumes That Will Make You Shudder-092016If youre a frequent reader herbeie at TheJobNetwork (and you totally are, right?), you know that we give you lots of information about what to do how to structure your resume, free resume templates, what to say in an interview, how to break into your field of choice. All excellent info But right now lets flip the script a little what do some of the fails look like? Specifically, what should your resume bedrngnis look like? Lets take a look at three poor souls whose schwimmbad resumes are destined for the ugh, moving on pile. googletag.cmd.push(function() googletag.display(div-gpt-ad-1467144145037-0) ) Rocky is just out of school, and just applied for a senior management position. Well call him The Mess.Rocky B. 45 Maple Sreet Philadelphia, PA 43434 Rockyemaildomain.comObjective To get a high-paying job. What I lack in experience, I bring in confidence.ExperiencePetSmart (sales associate), monat des herbstbeginns 2015 presen tBadger Sons, summer internMcDonalds (server), July 2014 September 2014Carmichael College, September 2012 June 2016SkillsOrganizationMoneyCommunicationComputersSocial media (RockyLovesLadeez on Twitter, Rocky B on MeFace)KarateWorking on deadlineEducationCarmichael College Communications, 2016HobbiesKarateBoxingKnittingOh, Rockywhere to start? There are lots of areas for improvement here.The LookLets talk about how this resume looks to a random reader. The font is very difficult to read, for starters. You want your resume to look clean and straightforward, not like a flyer youd see taped up at the supermarket, advertising guitar lessons. The centering also adds to this flier-esque feel. For the most part, left-justify.The HeaderRocky also flubs his very first introduction to the reader the header. Not only does he not include his belastung name, he leaves obvious typos in the address. Always, always, always proofread your resume. And when you think youve proofread it enough? Get someone else to read it too, just to be safe.The ObjectiveRocky doesnt do much better with his objective statement, which is already in danger of being unnecessary. Rocky is seeking a high-paying jobwho isnt? The objective or summary statement that you use in your resume should be put to work showing what you can offer the company. This objective tells the reader nothing about who Rocky is, what he does, or what qualifications he holds. Plus, it shows that he knows hes unqualified for the job. A reader would see that and disregard him right away.The Level of EffortOverall, you can tell he didnt put much time into this. Theres nothing but bare-bones information here. Under Experience, theres nothing that tells you what he did at any of those places, no context for how that experience applies to the job he wants. Rockys skills dont fare much better. Theyre a confusing jumble of professional skills (again, not fleshed out with any useful information), and personal ones (which is extra unnecessary because he later lists his hobbies. Listing hobbies at the end of your resume isnt necessarily a bad thingit can help differentiate you in a pile of resumes. But you should be careful to list only PG ones that you wouldnt mind your grandma reading about. (Rocky actually succeeds on this one).The SkillsRocky commits an additional faux pas while listing his social media skills its not a great idea to list your personal social media profiles unless you know theyre clean and professional-looking. (RockyLovesLadeez doesnt inspire much confidence that this is the case.) From start to finish, this resume is one big red flag.Lets look at Hilary, a.k.a. The Jokester.Hilary Peterson 88 McPherson Ave Brooklyn, NY 55555 (999) 000-1111 Comedienne69emaildomain.comSUMMARYHard worker known for keeping it real (haha) seeking a full-time position as a writer.SKILLSSense of humorOrganizedOutgoing personalityDealing with hecklers (the worst, amiright?)Writing on deadlineEXPERIENCESullys Irish Bar Waitress, 2006 2007Waited tablesProvided excellent customer serviceHandled cash and leistungspunkt card transactionsWalStore Sales Associate, 2007-2007Stocked shelves and participated in inventory managementCompleted customer transactions using the stores POS system.Assisted customersSet up floor displaysPeking Restaurant Waitress, 2007-2010Waited tablesProvided excellent customer serviceHandled cash and credit card transactionsBraggianos Italian Bistro Waitress, 2007-2010Waited tablesProvided excellent customer serviceHandled cash and credit card transactionsHewitt Brothers Finance File clerk, 2010 2016Served as an account manager in the hedge fund division of a large multinational companyProcessed TPS reports (only mildly soul-sucking)Maintained archive of client reports and contractsPut up with ridiculous people (kiddingeveryone welches cool)WRITING/EDITINGWish You Were Here (web series), 5 episodesLiving the Dream (article, Buffington University Alumni Magazine), 20 04The Clarion (university newspaper), editor and staff writer, 2001 2004EDUCATIONBuffington University B.A. in English (sigh)Hilarys resume is off to a good start, in that it looks like a resume. However, she starts running into problems early on.The HeaderHilarys email address isnt especially appropriate. You dont need to give up your fun email address (or that old AOL handle that you just cant let go), but at the very least before you start your job hunt, create a new email address thats a variation of your name. You can mucksmuschenstill be HotPantz or BeerPongDude to your friends and family, but potential employers should see a more professional you.The Summary StatementYou know I love a good parenthetical joke, but theres really no place for jokes, snarky asides, or emoji-like expressions in a resume. You want to be taken seriously, so make sure you set that professional tone.The SkillsAgain, Hilary is trying to be funny, which doesnt work here. She also leads with sense of hu mor, which is a good quality to have, but is it her number one skill? The skills section is a chance to emphasize what qualifies you for the job at hand. Hilary says she wants to get a full-time writing job, so shouldnt she emphasize her writing skills?The ExperienceThere are two issues here. First, Hilary goes chronologically, rather than the backwards chronological order most common in resumes. That latter format is common for a reason the employer wants to know who you are now, and doesnt want to have to dig for that information. Second, Hilary includes jobs that dont necessarily apply to the job for which shes applying. Long-ago food service and retail jobs dont seem to have much bearing on the job shes seeking herewhich is also undermined by the fact that she uses the saatkorn bullets for all of her restaurant jobs. Repetitive bullets make the reader glaze right over. Hilary should be more selective about which of her jobs she chooses to spotlight in her resumeand should come u p with unique bullets for each that emphasize how that experience applies to the job she wants.Hilary also buries the lede here she puts her writing experience waaaaaay down at the end, when she should be putting it front and center to help show that she does, in fact, have writing experience that would apply to her future writing job.And last but not least, lets check in with Mary, the Jargonator.Mary Hernandez 349 7th Avenue Brooklyn, NY 22222 (333) 555-6666 MaryHernandezemaildomain.com LinkedUp profile MHernandez.linkedup.comGo-getter who thinks outside the box looking to synergize experience and maximized skill setSKILLSSynergizing backward overflowThought leadershipResults-drivenDynamic self-motivatingBest of breedEXPERIENCEGrande Corp Department Assistant January 2013 presentMaximize and coordinate workflowSynergize department schedulesCoordinate B2C communications (email blasts, client outreach via telecommunications)Analyze office inventoryOffer elevator pitches for so cial media campaignsHit the ground running every dayCOMPUTER SKILLSAdobeMicrosoft Office (PP, O, Ex)EDUCATIONMarshall Brown University B.A., WLP 2013Mary sounds very with-it and accomplishedits just a shame you cant actually tell what she does.The LanguageWhen writing your resume, its important to strike a balance between clean, straightforward English. It can be tempting to use fancy-sounding jargon words instead of plain old boring ones, but you dont want to do that at the expense of the readers ability to understand what youre trying to say.Structurally, the resume is fine. Marys problem is the content. Terms like go-getter and synergized are played out at this point, not least because they convey very little. Youre much better off using a handful of strong, specific words that describe what you do/did. If Mary had written, Highly motivated administrative professional with strong office skills as her objective, shed be better off than she is using buzz words that mean very little to the reader without context.The AbbreviationsMary uses terms like B2C and WLP throughout, without explaining what they mean. If youre using an acronym that may not be readily apparent to the reader, always spell it out on the first use. For example Business-to-consumer (B2C). If youre using a term thats basic knowledge in your industry, then its probably fine to use those sparinglybut if youre unsure, or you think the reader might not have deep technical knowledge of what youre talking about, it never hurts to describe it a little. If the reader doesnt understand fully what youre saying, then its likely theyll give up early and youll lose out on a potential opportunity.When youre writing your own resume, dont be The Mess, The Jokester, or The Jargonator. Make sure everything is clean, professional, and clear, and youll be fine. If you have any horror-show resume moments that youve come across, be sure to reach out and share